My Relationship Status with Goals: "It's Complicated"
A few years ago, I decided to cut goals out of my life.
Why? They weren't working for me. Simple as that.
And I suspect the way most people set goals doesn’t work for them either.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a discovery call with an entrepreneur who tells me they’re overwhelmed and desperate to get more time back in their life so they can spend it with their family. Yet, in the very next breath, they outline their grand plans and ambitions that align with precisely none of their personal desires.
Is there a world in which they can have their cake and eat it too? Most likely, yes. But only if they realize that what they truly want is something sweet. And the way to scratch that itch might not be cake.
That certainly was my experience.
For most of my life, I was a goal setter—Sometimes, my goals were specific or "SMART". Other times, they were simply a deep motivation to achieve something great in whatever I was doing at the time.
But over time, I noticed a pattern: I spent more time chasing unrealized goals than I did enjoying the fleeting satisfaction of achieving them. In other words, it felt like I spent 99% of my time chasing and 1% of my time succeeding.
And that didn’t work for me.
So, I stopped setting goals.
Here's what I do now instead:
1. Pick a Direction Instead of a Finish Line
Plans rarely unfold exactly as we envision. So, instead of rigidly fixating on an endpoint, I focus on the direction I’m headed. My measure of success isn't "am I there yet?" Instead, it's simply "am I heading in the right direction?" That small mindset shift has made all the difference, allowing me to live in the present instead of the future and feel enjoyment and fulfillment in the process.
2. Shorten the Goal Post
When specific goals are useful (and sometimes they can be), I break them into smaller, more manageable chunks. And often that starts with a smaller first step. Most of the friction with big goals is not knowing how to begin. Lowering the barrier to entry and creating a chain of smaller wins reduces friction, builds momentum, and gives me more opportunities to feel a sense of accomplishment along the way.
3. Embrace Experimentation
Shortening the goal post also creates more opportunities to measure and validate that I’m still moving in the right direction. Progress isn’t always linear, and embracing that truth can be freeing. I’ve learned to allow myself to try new things and change my mind when necessary. Making decisions based on reality—rather than emotion—has been a game-changer. And when I need to course-correct, I do so gently, without beating myself up. Growth requires trial and error.
4. Do Only What’s Necessary Right Now
The world is full of “shoulds” and “musts”, the loudest of which comes from the voice inside our head. It's a trap. It's distracts, overwhelms, and slows us down. I’ve learned to ignore it all and in each moment, to focus only on what’s genuinely helpful and necessary right now. "All I have to do is the one thing I'm doing right now," has become a mantra. This practice has been crucial in eliminating unnecessary stress and staying aligned with my values and priorities.
To me, this is what it means to grow and be human.
This shift in mindset isn’t just personal—it’s something I lead my clients to as well. At their core, these four points represent alignment, measurement, experimentation, and prioritization. Time and again, I’ve seen this approach prove to be the most successful and sustainable path for long-term growth.
Because when you focus on the journey rather than the destination, you find the freedom to adapt, learn, and thrive in ways that rigid goal-setting simply doesn’t allow.
And leading my clients to a more effective and sustainable way of scaling their business is my favorite part about what I do.
So, what about you? What’s your relationship with goals, and how are you planning to approach them this year?
Whatever your answer, remember this: It’s not about having your cake and eating it too. It’s about figuring out what truly satisfies you and following that path—one step at a time.